It doesn't happen this month. Just like the other months that it never happens. What if I keep driving myself crazy every single hour, minute, second of the day. What if I continue to cry every month when that dreaded period shows up. What if?

Well let's see. I'll continue to start fresh CD1. Herbs, vitamins, castor oil packs, massage. I'll continue to pray every single day. I'll continue to hold on to the hope even though I feel doomed every month that passes. I will continue to vision my beautiful babies in my arms. I will wait. I may not be patient but I will be forced to learn it knowing it obviously doesn't happen on my command. I will trust that my babies will be here soon enough. I will never be okay if It never happens, but I will make sure that no matter what, I won't give up, I won't give in. And when the good Lord says it's time, I will look into my beautiful babies eyes and say "I never gave up wanting you, I keep striving, I kept praying, I keep trying"

The best gift anyone could ever ask for. And this is actually teaching me how precious children really are. How much of a miracle conception and birth really is.

So far I've had to learn faith, trust, patience, honor, hope,truth a long with heartache, jealousy, envy, anger. It has been a beautiful struggle. LADIES, I am with you! I understand.. we will conquer this. We will get through this. GOD is ABLE. in HIS will, we will bare fruit. (More, for my case.. dealing with secondary infertility)

Love all of you wonderful ladies. I am here to talk if you need me. I am here to pray if you need me. We unite together in compassion for one another. By the blood of Jesus Christ.