Okay, sorry if this ends up long.. Basically, I have depression and have for a few years. It runs in the family, etc. I never had to worry about people seeing my scars because I was never close to people and could easily hide them. I put cream on them to make them go away so nobody would know. I never committed to anyone because it scared me to get hurt more than I already was. However, last May I met this guy at my work (he was a driver and I made pizzas) and we went on a date and instantly hit it off. We have been dating for about ten months now, and I honestly love him like crazy. We fight and disagree sometimes, but 99% of the time we rationalize and discuss our issues until they are resolved. I've seen scars on his body from where he self-harmed back when he was in high school (he briefly told me about it). Although I've been getting happier again, I still have my issues primarily at night when I'm alone. I just hate myself so much sometimes that it's hard to keep going. He's been a great influence on me and keeps me happy. I'm not one to really talk about my problems. It makes me uncomfortable and I hate it. I self harmed recently and it's been the first time in about a year and a half. He saw when we were laying in bed and got really upset with me. He was mad I wouldn't talk about it. He said it just "turned him off." Not sexually but emotionally. Those words really upset me and I feel like I pushed him away because of it. Well, the other thing is that he is very oblivious when I'm really upset just because. The other night I was laying in bed really just bummed out, can't explain why really, and he tucked me in and left to hangout with his friends downstairs. He asked if i was okay and I said yes. I don't want to nag for attention and be needy and annoying or beg for pity / sympathy. But at the same time, I feel so lonely sometimes. It's practically impossible for me to just bring stuff up and talk about it so I don't know what to do.