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So I'm in a happy healthy relationship with my man, he has a 5 year old son from a previous relationship. The mother of his son and I have had minor problems that have come up throughout the relationship - not a big deal mostly just petty comments. Anyway, recently she has demanded to know where I live - her reasoning is that her son will occasionally come to my home and has spent the night a couple of times - and she wants to know where he is. 
Now normally I wouldn't have a problem but my boyfriend recently showed me a message that she sent to him - it was less than pleasant. 
Essentially threatening to have her boyfriend (whom is a police officer) run my name so she could find out where I live, what I drive, blah blah blah. Amongst slandering - which we don't know each other, we've had minimal contact. For me this is a red flag and now I've asked to have a sit down meeting to discuss guidelines about me giving her my address (like no showing up unannounced) basics. To which she replied she doesn't have to justify her basic parental rights to know where her son is... Am I being unreasonable? I'm incredibly stressed out over this because now she's threatening to take my boyfriend (her ex) to court over me not giving my address... Input would be helpful.

Answer

I would want to know your address if my child was staying at your house overnight. And if I couldn't get it from you nicely (which I would try first), I would use any means available to me to obtain it.

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I think it is her right to know where her child is staying.

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If her kid is staying at you house overnight, she has a right to know where you live. Put yourself in her shoes, imagine if it were your child.

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I'd want to know where my child was too. I'm not saying it's right but they probably will look for your address regardless..... But on the other hand I think if they could search for it then they would have done it by now anyway 😕

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Playing devils advocate, if she asked for your address from your BF and he refused or gave her a hard time about it, I could see her getting worked up and making threats to involve the police to obtain info. A sit down is justified but if she is already on the defense I can see why she wouldn't want to, or shouldn't have to explain herself. I'd take matters into your own hand and call her yourself. Talk calmly and tell her you have no problem with her having your address, that is completely justified and understandable. You just want to make sure in doing so X,Y,&Z...

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I would want to know where my child was. Wouldn't you? Now if up have those messages saved about her bf abusing his authority then you could definitely get him in trouble for that.

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She has a right to know, and if I had a police officer friend I'd have him run a background check on you too before my kid slept at your house

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Yes you should give her your address. She has the right to know where her child is staying at all times.

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As a mother, I would like to know where my son is staying while in his father's custody. I, also, requested that I meet his current girlfriend before my son goes to his father's house for any overnight stays.

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Or just lay the ground rule he and the child don't come over to your house anymore... I think adds a mother she skills know where her son is at all times... I wouldnt be able to sleep without knowing where my child was

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