Asexuality -- vent

If you don't feel it, you don't feel it. Plain and simple. There's nothing wrong with you! Maybe one day you will, and maybe you won't. But trying to force something isn't gonna make it happen for you. Keep searching, I know there are people out there that feel the same way as you do. You can have fulfilling and loving relationships with someone without sexual contact being a part of it. You've just got to be yourself. 😊

The best advise I would give you as a fellow ace is to constantly communicate with the people you are interested in. If they become your partner, communicate even more. And if they think sex is so important, enough to end the relationship, they are simply not the right person. As much as that fact sucks. The way I see it, sex is not the glue that holds together a relationship. The relationship and communicating and keeping it healthy and honest is way more important. Love is what holds you together, not how good you are at making some body bits feel good. You are more then your body, and what your body can do for others. You are you. Your feelings and thoughts, and that's what should be important to your partner. And you for that matter. :)

I'm curious... So you've never had an orgasm? You've never had a man "dick you down" real good? 

what if relationships shouldn't b based on sexual intercourse.We've made ppl feel like that's the glue like U said but I find pleasure w my husband bc we connected on other levels without stressing about the sex (we choose to abstain from sex until we were engaged) What if sex is the "reward" for some people and spiritual or emotional connection is another persons "reward" of a healthy relationship. When you meet ppl, do you stress about being sexual with them right away bc U feel U should b sexual with them?  Almost like U feel forced to feel that way? It may be that you are more "normal" than U think In my book bc I think sex shouldn't b what defines a relationship. Your connection with them doesn't have to b labeled by sex. (That may not make a ton of sense but I hope you find a deeper connection w someone someday that will help U understand where I'm coming from)

This could be ignorant as fuck..but have you seen your doctor about this?

You don't have to fit in. Accept who you are. Do the things which you are passionate about. Enjoy life. 

I guess a lot of people don't assume it's an option. I try to tell people it's totally fine to decide they fit into this orientation. 

If you're so unhappy, how do you know that it's not just because you haven't found the right person?

I'm not trying to be rude... I just have a medically based mentality... Its part of my passion and work. When you say you've gone to counseling, what type of counseling? Have you tried a psychologist or psychiatrist not specializing in sexuality and relationships? Have you also talked to neurologist... Lots of physiological changes occur when you become aroused... That may not be indicated from simply checking your hormones. Or maybe an allergy? Hypersensitivity? I'm just throwing things out there... Maybe you have had a full analyses. I'm also not trying to "cure" you but haven't heard of this before, asexuality. If you have had the full check-up... Then I would recommend like I did below to take it slow and take your mindset off of being intimate. I decided before I dated my husband now that I wouldn't have sex with anyone I dated until we got tested and felt comfortable to share our deepest thoughts. He turned out to be a virgin at 27 and I'm so happy we waited and he felt comfortable enough to tell me. He was clumsy at first but I loved him and we had such a connection that we now have an amazing sex life. Really have tried everything in the book, so open with each other. I think you will find that person you connect with where you both want to try and communicate to make it amazing :-) not really make it but sometimes you do have to build as a couple first All the best to you