Erectile dysfunction?

Question

My husband and I have been TTC since last July. Every time I ovulate I try to initiate sex a lot more the entire week. I'll be lucky if he finishes once, all the other times he loses his erection in the middle of us having sex. Every month I hope that the one time he actually does finish that it'll be the one to get me pregnant but every month I'm disappointed.

He has brought up to me before that we don't have sex enough and I don't initiate enough, trying to blame me... But it's his lack of sexual drive that just made me stop trying. But since he brought that up, I've been trying more - it's like a vicious cycle.

I have no idea what to do.. I don't want to bring it to his attention because I don't want to make him feel bad about himself. He knows it's a problem, says he needs to lose weight, that that will help his erections last longer, but he doesn't try. Or he makes the excuse that he's too full. I just feel like he's not making an effort and I've been trying SO MANY things to spice up our sex life. I feel like giving up trying to even have a baby. And the worst part is every single person I know keeps asking me over and over if we're trying to have a baby, how often, why am I not pregnant yet, etc etc

Sorry for the long rant - I just need to vent because I can't talk to anyone about this, I don't want to embarrass my husband.

Answer

Girl.  Talk to him tell him the truth seriously this is his issue and it's so not fair!!
This happened to my husband once a few years ago and I felt it right away and I was like hold on what happened and he said he didn't know and I was basically shocked it had never happened before but then he was honest he said he looked at the tv and lost concentration so we turned off the tv and it never happened again,but in your situation it's happening often don't make it awkward and bring it up out of nowhere, when it happens say something right there and then and make it a big issue!!! 
I'm sorry if you don't want to hurt his feelings
1. His feelings or a baby?
2. His feelings or you never being satisfied
3. His feelings or no sex 
4. His feelings and he stays over weight?
5. His feelings and it's always your fault!
No girl speak up if you really want to have a baby 
Or even in general like how long can you live  like that it will never satisfy you and that sucks cause he can fix this  he really can and he needs to try

Answer

First of all, I HATE how nosey people are about that stuff. TTC is a very personal, intimate journey that no one should be asking about, yet it's perfectly acceptable in this society ugh. (Sorry end rant, I know that isn't what this is about) Okay so regarding your husband, the weight thing could definitely be the reason as he says. Someone else said testosterone and that's a good suggestion too. My thoughts: does he really want a baby right now? If he does, has trying to conceive taken all the romance out? The reason I ask is because one of my friends went through something very similar(except the weight gain) when they were ttc. They tried for 6 months before they got pregnant and she subconciously only showed enthusiastic interest when she was ovulating. In turn her husband starting having libido drive issues because he felt like he was being used almost like a machine. He could tell that her main goal was to get pregnant so he just didn't feel like the sex was about them anymore. Once they talked about it and he told her all that, she made a better effort to make it more about them and they got pregnant shortly after.

Answer

tell him to go to doc n get viagra. my hubby had same issue. he take cialis

Answer

Has he gotten his testosterone levels checked? That can be a cause behind it sometimes

Answer

Is he on any medication? My husband was on some asthma medicine that made it impossible for him to have an erection.

Answer

Have you tried cock rings?

Answer

This helped me so much and thank you. It's definitely hard, but I am praying for a baby miracle. I'm trying to lose weight as well, but not hard enough. I feel so unattractive because of my weight so I blame his ED on my body. He has never said or done anything to make me feel unattractive, my self-esteem is just 0.

Answer

I'm so glad to know there are other couples in this situation!

My husband and I have been married for 7 years. Our sex life was great until about 3 years ago. He started having ED issues along with neropathy related to diabetes. I think it started when he was starting to get depressed about not finishing his degree and not having a job. Even though he has found part time work, I think he still has the same feelings.

We are lucky if we try having sex once a month but he rarely ejaculates. He makes sure I get my orgasm, but he almost never gets hard enough for anything else. And then he just ignores it like it was nothing. When I try to talk about it he just shuts down. He used to make the excuses about being too full or tired, but now he blames his diabetes, which he blames everything on.  He had a Cialis prescription for a while, but he never wanted to take it, and when he did it didn't seem to help.

I want to start TCC in the fall, but I don't even know where to start. He doesn't seem to have interest in sex anymore, just in his video games. It's like he has been defeated by school, health/genetics, and life in general. I've suggested therapy, but that discussion seems to shut down communication too. I feel like all I can do is wait for him to come out of this and seek help. I wish I knew that marriage could be so lonely before I got married, and how to deal with it.

This is the first time I've ever talked about this. Thanks to the OP for sharing your story to give me a reason to share mine.

Answer

I don't really have anything to add to this, but thank god I'm not the only one in this position. We are VERY open with each other & talk about it 'going wrong' all the time, I don't let him stew over it lol! 
He's had trouble sometimes similarly before during our relationship and its usually sorted itself out, this time it's taking longer & he says he thinks it's harder (excuse the pun) to sort out this time cos there's more at stake now we're ttc. 
It's so hard to be supportive though, every month, or even every time it doesn't work out, it's disappointing to say the least. Irony being, since ttc, it seems our libidos have swapped!!!

Following this thread in case of any gems of advice  😊

Answer

I am in the same position as yourself with my husband,we have been Ttc #1 since we got married in April 2015. he used to have a big sex drive but the last few years not so, and now since we have been ttc it seems worse, and then to top it off he can't seem to stay hard,hence not pregnant yet! We've spoke about it plenty and he always says he'll try harder, try more often and every month I'm left disappointed. I am currently in high fertility and we have tried twice since yesterday and not once has it ended successfully 😖. Think it may be time for us to visit the Dr

Erectile dysfunction?

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