Im 34 weeks pregnant... 28 years old.. A health care professional and overall good person and woman with a 9 soon to be 10 year old son. My fiancé and I have known each other our whole lives .. Are due to marry this October... Yet I feel him more and more distant. Something haunting me makes me feel that there may be someone else or by the way he has been acting that maybe he now feels he's not ready for all of this after all.  My first son I had at 18... Father I dated for years but was abusive.  I got away from him and luckily he's never came around or has been in my son's life at all. I raised him and then my now fiance and i got together as more than friends and over time he actively took the role of father and family man etc. he proposed to me... We ended up pregnant as well. We even bought a dog together. My first born understands the concept of a biological father and that his was not around and not very nice to me etc... But he would always say he didn't care .. That he viewed my fiancé as more of a dad then anything because of what he's done... How much he cared and was there and wanted to be that for him. My SO finds ways to balance everything but in our personal life he is changing a bit. He hasn't made love to me in a week.. Which is unheard of with him and us. Two to three nights this week he has slept on the couch as well.  Aside from giving me a kiss or what not he has not been physically close to me or affectionate. And he has had small few hours here or there out alone for various reasons. I can't help but feel .... Doomed. It's in my nature to prepare myself for now becoming a single mom... To two boys.... By two different men... One child not even born yet. I sit here and think of my sons and the impact it would have on them. I think about how i have always wanted my own family... And worry what if I never end up having that. What good decent man will want me with two children.. One young.. By two different men. I feel alone already... And I feel like I went from having the world through having my family to having to find a way to cope with the possibility of being alone in life again... For God knows how long. I love my fiancé.... I would live and die for him... But I can't make him love or want me..or everything we have. And if my fears somehow come true... I just don't know what to do. Please think about me tonight... Maybe say a pray for me. My heart is breaking and I already feel so lost. I just want seine to hold my hand.