Feeling failed

I'm the woman who constantly thinks she is pregnant. The one who will pee on stick just to hope she sees 2 lines. The one who looks at others positive posts and hopes it will be her posting one today. I was the one that looked at others faint lines that were asking for tweaks saying u will never be like that. I'm now the one posting those pics hoping someone will say she is pregnant. I am the one that finally thought she something and so did others. I am the woman who cried that same night when she wiped and saw spotting.... I am the one who has been trying for 12 years with one miscarriage at 16 weeks after finding out it was a boy.... I am the woman who is constantly saying "why not me?"