Everyone I know or is related to me has a child... All on accident and don't even want. I have 3 beautiful smart nieces and they're mom basically abandoned them to go be with a guy she met via Facebook who has 3 boys of his own. All over her Facebook she posts about the boys. I have lost 2 babies. I am trying so hard to be happy for others but I get so jealous how it's easy for them to lay down and have "accidents". I want a baby so bad.... Every time I see a BFP on a test for other women I think to myself "What is she doing right that I'm not"? I'm jealous and I dont want to be. That's not who I am. I've started telling myself that they needed the blessing more than me. Nothing's working... I give up and some how find hope and than give up again. I guess I'm determined. I know I can get pregnant but why is it so difficult for me!!! It's not fair!