Both of us???

Question

My boyfriend was talking to me yesterday and he used to have this friend a while ago before we started dating and they were really close and they considered being together, but then I came in, so he didn't talk to her as much and then she did some things and there were months they didn't talk to each other, which I was happy about because I've never really liked her, but they started talking again recently and he told me he wishes he could be with both of us and he doesn't want to make a decision.... I didn't think a decision had to be made, we've been together for about a year and six months now and I don't know what to do... And I'm feeling extremely self conscious and feel like I have to compete with this girl because she's better at me in almost everything, and I'm just so afraid I'm going to lose him 😔😔 any advice or just anything??? I'm very lost

Update: my boyfriend and I have had some tough situations in the past and during a time I thought we were done he thought the opposite and I went behind his back and did a lot of things I shouldn't have, so ever since then he hasn't loved me the same and I can't blame him, in fact I hate myself for it, but I love him and I don't want to lose him, and I know I ****ed up... But after everything I've done he's stayed to try to work things out and I can't just leave him like this...

Answer

If he really loves you, he wouldn't even consider her.

Answer

I agree with the other girls and TBH, if I found out I had to compete for my boyfriends attention, I would say "have her then" and I'd find someone who would never need the attention of another girl in that way

Answer

Self-conciousness happens. But don't ever ket that deter you from doing what will make you a happier you in the future. Don't let that deter you from standing your ground with him about what you want. If he really cares for you and loves you, he wouldn't be interested in 1) Being with another girl 2) Being with a girl you don't like. I personally believe in relationships being team partnerships. So I say, talk about it first. Find out why things developed with her even when he's been with you. Find out what your opinion means to him. But if he can't prove his worth to you, it may hurt and suck...but also know that you're worth so much more than that. And finding a guy that respects you, actively seeks you and always lets you know your worth may be hard but always worth the wait/effort/pain.

Answer

Don't make him make a decision then. Leave and make the decision for him. That should ease his mind and his poor little baby self won't have to worry! (Obviously he will once he realized what he gave up because he wanted what he couldn't have though) You deserve better than that.

Answer

Let your boyfriend know you are not an option, he chose to be with you therefore he should be a man and follow through on his decision . While she might be a good girl you've been a great girlfriend to stick by him and love him in this relationship. This is a situation of its either me or her not both