TTC driving me insane :'(

It makes me feel insane. I am the type of person who plans something and goes all out and my boyfriend is not. That doesn't make neither him nor I bad it just makes things complicated. I'm also bad about not telling him my fertile days cause I don't want it to feel like a chore that has to be done but then I find myself getting upset cause we are not having enough sex during my fertile window.

Throughout all this I never fuss to him cause it isn't his fault. He just has the attitude that without protection it will happen when it happens. I get more and more dissapointed when af arrives cause I feel like if I wasn't crazy and would just talk to him about it things would improve and up our chances of ttc. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship that wasn't planned it just happened so he isn't familiar with this whole planning thing.

Ugh I'm so complicated that I'm making my own ttc journey harder than it has to be which makes me just want to give up each time af arrives. And then I'm extremely jealous of the women who have men that are trying just as hard as their woman are to get pregnant.

My friend is ttc as well and her boyfriend goes above and beyond to keep up with her fertile days and bd every single day of it plus some. If only I was so lucky.

Sorry for the long rant I just really needed to vent.

Have a great day ladies and thanks for listening.