12 year losing her virginity

So I was dumb when I was younger. I might of been a bit more mature than others my age but that didn't mean that I could go ahead and have sex with a 20 year old... I look back and wish I could of taken that back. There's so many things that I could of done besides having sex at 12.. I was mature but not enough. I was lucky I didn't get pregnant.. 
15.. Had sex again.. Unprotected. I regret it so very badly...
18.. Actually fell in love with a 20 year old. Kind of crazy. We had sex a couple of time.. Protected this time.. And somehow I got pregnant. I believe the condom was too old. I had an abortion and it hurt us both because we wanted and didn't at the same time and everything changed in two seconds.. I still have feelings for the guy.. Not like those that I'm gonna go jump in his arms but because of the memories...
I regret not waiting for that special moment. Instead, I was used by a guy 8 years older than me when I was 12...