Scared thoughts on expecting baby

Really scared for the day my baby comes I'm 19 been dating this guy since I was 17 he's been abusing me physically for a little over a year it's not as bad as it was once in a while he slips up and apologizes even tho his apologies mean nothing to me if I know he'll do it again every told me to get an abortion and told me they weren't gone help me if I kept but I just didn't have the balls and guts to kill something that's a part of me didn't feel right every time I set up and appointment I purposely missed it and everytime I thought about an abortion I cried a lot I just couldn't do it every one offered to come wit me to get an abortion but no one offered to come to a sonogram I already knew if I kept my baby it was all going to be on me now that I'm getting closer I'm 23 weeks I starting to think will my boyfriend hit my daughter the way he use to hit me when he get annoyed with her and if I made a good decision I'm just exrtemly worried and I kinda feel like I threw my life away for a man that does nothing for me but still for a wonderful baby this man is the only man I ever been with ever had sex with and he the man in having my first kid with just feel a little stupid