Lately I just don't want to go to school I don't want to do anything I don't feel safe at home my parents aren't even here just my two younger brothers and my grandma that can't even do anything but is here for legal reasons. I haven't been to scoop in 2 weeks I care but also don't. 

I have a stash of pills that I stopped taking for months now because they make me so tired I can't function. I really want to take them. Idk. I try to stay at my boyfriends house because I'm safer over there with his family but my parents don't understand that. 

I am being defiant by not listening to them and my dad keep yelling abuse over the phone. They even cut my phone plan off because I wasn't answering their phone calls because I was scared but when they did that I couldn't call 911 or suicide hotlines. 

 I really don't know what to do. I can't sleep at know and I'm scared to be alone because I have black outs from my schizophrenia and I do stuff I can't remember. I don't want to dying but it's so hard to keep going I love life and I want to explore and I want to be happy but I can't keep doing this I feel like a zombie. I really don't want to be here. I haven't slept in 3 days and haven't eaten.... I'm scared and I just want help... Please just somebody talk to me or help me. The police don't do anything and cps doesn't help. My parents make me lie to my psych and therapist that I'm fine but I'm not and I'm scared to tell them or my parents will be mad.