Reaching out...đź’™

Ashley • Preemie mama x 3 🤍 2016 • 2019 • 2023
First time mom here, 33w2d pregnant with our baby boy. Original due date: May 30th. 
It's 3am of day two in the hospital for me, baby and fiancé. We were sent here in an emergency after a routine 33-week sonogram. A maternal fetal specialist came in during the scan to tell us that he the placenta isn't functioning at its best to deliver blood and nutrients to baby and that he is under a growth restriction- only barely 3lbs at this point. She ordered us to go to the hospital immediately and, quote, "you are not leaving until baby is born".  She was very abrupt but I guess in this case that's what is necessary. 
Little bit of a back story: We were told at 19 weeks that there was chance of low birth weight due to a soft marker in a protein they found in some blood work at that point. They classified us as high risk but insisted there was no need to worry or do anything differently. We trusted our doctors and remained positive over he course of the following weeks. Baby began to move regularly and non-stop and we passed all other tests and check-ups with flying colors. Several doctors in our practice told us: "Baby is perfect and healthy"... "Right on target". 
So, of course this news so many weeks later sent us into severe shock, especially me, and my BP right through the roof. Fiancé is my rock and kept so, so calm for both of us even though our world came to a crashing halt. By the time I got to our hospital (which is only 5 minutes up the road from where we were) my BP was at 194/87. They immediately started running tests for preeclampsia. (It has since stablized but is still rather high). They are however not as concerned about his weight and seem optimistic about everything.  He is healthy in that he is moving around like a little firecracker, day and night, but we are concerned with his lung function. I've had two steroid shots over the course of the last two days. Around 6pm yesterday a group of doctors entered our hospital room to deliver the news that after my 24-hour urine collection analysis lab results came back they are showing that I am, beyond any shadow of doubt, severely preeclamptic. No walking allowed unless assisted to the bathroom and or to my daily sonograms. At this point I'm told I will need to deliver within the next six days, or as of my 34 week mark which is Monday. 
I can barely sleep because my mind just keeps running. My fiancé has been the most amazing, loving, positive-thinking and supportive man, just as he always has been in every situation for all of our time together, but this time is so taxing on both of us as an expectant growing family. I know I need to stay strong for all of us, but I'm running out of juice here. I'm not an easily scared person, but this time... I've met my match. 
Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. 💙 
Thank you so much.Â