Way to make me feel

So I have like 0% sex drive at all. if I had my way I'd live without sex but I love my partner so deeds must be done,I don't force myself to have sex with him or anything like that I just don't feel anything for sex never have done probs never will, why do I not feel a need for sex then :/ if I don't want sex then I try helping my partner out by hand but even then it takes me like a good 45mins to finish him, I'm not sure if it's me I think I'm crap at it but then again he didn't say anything either moaning that he can do it in 2 mins, way to make me feel like I really am doing a crappy job, won't be helping out again if that's the way it's gonna go 😖😓