Am i bad for thinking this way?

Question

I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and I am a completely different religion then my husband. Although it doesn't seem like we are very different it's weird. I am Lutheran and he switching over but his family is stuck in the hard-core old classic days of Catholic. However they keep shoving the religion down my throat telling me ridiculous things. I for one am not for godparents. Growing up I had godparents and they never did their job they were lousy and didn't do any of things god parents were supposed to do. My husband has a brother and a sister and I have a sister. His mom keeps telling me that his sister and brother should be the godparents. However I don't trust his sister with a baby until I see her with a baby so how I'm I supposed to choose right when she is born? Also I would never trust my sister with my baby alone or in the car she has driven while drunk multiple times and has multiple issues. My husband's brother absolutely doesn't like babies I know it may change when ours is born but I just don't see the point and why I would have to choose siblings for godparents if I decided to go that route. I wanted to pick my parents if I had to pick anybody because they are religious and they go to church his family is religious but nobody goes to church anything. And they don't show up for church events like baptisms. My husband really likes my church. He grew up Catholic but is choosing to go Lutheran.  We have decided that is where our daughter will go. And I am being told I am being selfish because I am not taking their religion into consideration. His mother-in-law also told me the godparents take care of the baby is something were to happen to my husband and I. But I don't think that is true? I was going to have that in my will if something were to happen to my husband and I have my parents would take full custody. She told me it doesn't work that way and that she could sue my parents for custody. She only knows that I wanted my parents for custody if something were to happen because she went through my notebook on the counter in my house. I have a notebook and I have it titled faith Rose our daughters name and she decided to take it home and read everything in it without telling me.

So this is my question am I being rude or bad by not listening to my mother-in-law and choosing his siblings for godparents??

Answer

The only thing they could "sue" for is visitation btw lol your mil sounds controlling

Answer

I don't do the god parent thing either.

Answer

My husband and I are god parents to the children of some of his family friends. They choose him because they also don't trust their family and they love my husband and his family. We would get custody if something happens to them they told us that is what they want and they put it in their will. It is your choice who you want to be the godparents and you don't have to choose right away. You can wait and decide later in life and it doesn't have to be family. I hope this helps your decision.

Answer

I'd ignore her. Religion is a tradition. My husband and I go to a non denomination church for that fact.

I'll make this as simple as possible bc I'm out of time. (@ work).

Your child, your rules, you way of life. Respect others, but walk your own path.

Answer

The law doesn't uphold the godparents thing, that is strictly a religious practice, so if something were to happen to you or your husband the child wouldn't automatically go to them, unless you state that in your will. It's your child and your decisions are the only ones that matter. I would put my foot down and let her know "I'm not making them the godparents that's final."

Answer

What are the godparent's duties?

Answer

Your mother in law sounds like a piece of work. First off if your husband and you choose to go Lutheran that is your choice. Plus your husband is choosing to switch it's not like your forcing him. Second total invasion of privacy that she went through your notebook. Do what you want! I won't be having god parents for my baby girl. I'm Jewish and we don't really have them. I did have one growing up and I barely know him! He was close to my parents when I was born but he didn't do anything special for me. I don't think a god parent is who takes care of the child if something were to happen. If you have it written in a will who takes care of your child if God forbid something were to happen to you a court goes by that since it was your choice. Your mil can't sue for custody! She's rediculous and needs to be supportive of you and your husbands choice. She sounds jealous maybe because you didn't choose her or her family?

Answer

Godparents are not legally binding she's wrong on that...it's only valid in the church. You could potentially name them as the guardians in your will but they don't have to be the same people. My in laws and husband are Catholic and I'm just not very religious in general but we're still choosing to baptism and have godparents. However,  that doesn't mean I'm going to push anything on my son either. I know my MIL would really like for me to convert but it's just probably not going to happen. You MIL needs to chill...your baby, your family, your decision :)

Answer

We're not religious but spiritual. My husbands family is much more religious than mine. We're choosing godparents but more for the reason of having someone there for them no matter what, not to have them go down a certain religious path. I chose the god mom and decided that family already has their place so I chose my bestfriend that I've know pretty much my entire life

Answer

Your mil is crazy. Can't believe she's already threatening u and baby isn't even hereyyet. And if you CHOOSE to get ur baby baptized, it's your decision as to who will be her godparents. Good luck on everything!!!

Am i bad for thinking this way?

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