Thought it would be easy... 😞

I thought it would be easy to get pregnant. All through my younger years I would worry about taking bc everyday and wearing extra protection during sex, stressing I might fall pregnant when I forgot a pill, little did I know it's so much harder than I thought. I try to act like I don't want it or like its not a big deal to try to trick my mind into falling pregnant but my subconscious knows how I really feel. I feel like I want it so much that I'm jinxing it into not happening 😔😔😔 I even deleted this app so I would stop thinking about it and just enjoy life how it is now but I couldn't last. I'm 24 and know I should be wanting other things like to travel the world or be out partying at clubs until 10 in the morning but that life just isn't for me anymore. I just yearn to be a mummy and have my own little bundle of joy to feel grow inside me and wake up to in the mornings. 
I'm keeping positive and telling myself it will all happen in good time and "when I'm ready" but I can't wait that long. We are going to see a fertility specialist after a few more months. We haven't been trying too long just yet but that still doesn't make that single line any easier to see. 
Thankyou for the support of all my glow babes, you're all amazing and baby dust to all ✨✨