Picture in your head a summer rain shower, one minute it’s bright and sunny and everything is smiling and the next it’s dark, gray and a downpour that makes you run for cover. In a nutshell, that’s what it’s like. There are so many stages of emotions when you are on the journey through infertility and like that summer rain shower you never know when those emotions will change. 

Believe it or not, most days being around others who are experiencing the joy of being parents isn’t so hard. I usually can attend a baby shower, see pregnancy announcements and status updates on your children and come out just fine. I am excited for those in that stage of life, I want to be included in those conversations and while yes, infertility is always on my mind, my thoughts are usually positive: “not yet”, “someday is will be my turn” or even “maybe this month!”

And then comes a rainy day. When the struggle is very real.When I am surrounded by all things “baby”. And I feel different, I feel alone and I start to believe that no one really understands or cares about the struggle we are going through. My emotions are all over the place. Jealously, anger, depression. Have I done something wrong to deserve this? Am I not worthy or good enough to be a mother? Why does conceiving come so naturally to others? Why am I so different? How come no oneunderstands?

And the hardest part, I never know when those emotions will hit. I know that makes it uncomfortable for those around me as well. You might not know what to say. Should you ask me how I’m doing? Press me for information on the latest news? Tell me about a friend’s pregnancy? Invite me to the baby shower? And while I can’t say I will always respond gracefully, I want you to ask and I want you to know that I will be okay, maybe not today, but I will be okay. Part of the learning process along this journey was learning to accept. Accept the plan God has for me and my family. Accept that I won’t always know the answers or when to take the next step (which is a very scary thing for me). Accept that I will go through all the emotions listed above and be able to overcome them. 

But although I have learned to accept I still have hope. I can trust God, have faith in His plan and still hope for what could come tomorrow. That hope, trust and faith is what helps me have more of those sun shining days than the rain shower ones. 

Our journey is not over. When we started this process 5 years ago I never thought it would take this long. We have completed countless months of pills, shots, tests, a break to change clinics and more recently 3 failed <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> procedures.  But we are not giving up hope. The journey may be long but the reward at the end will be that much sweeter. We look forward to that day with much anticipation. 

Since this is infertility awareness week and this year’s theme is #startasking I want to share our story. I want to talk about infertility. I want to answer your questions. One of the biggest hurdles we face is sharing those sensitive emotions, but by doing so it allows others to know they are not alone. Statistics say that 1 in 8 couples deal with some form of infertility. So chances are you know more people than you realize going through this journey. Some are at the diagnosis stage; some are going through treatments now and some have already received miracles. Whatever stage you are in we are all in this together. I encourage you to connect with others; find a support group in your area or join one on line; share your story and let’s continue talking.