This isn't easy and I'm still processing. My daughter is healthy and amazing. 5#5oz at 37 weeks.

I'm sharing this because not everything is a happy ending. I'm actually scared to have more children.

It's a long complicated story and I'm extremely raw emotionally.

Everything started normal and fine. Then in January I had an ultrasound and my baby was measuring small. No big deal, right?? Well apparently a huge deal!! At the birth center they proceeded to tell me that my LMP must be August 29th instead of August 3rd and my due date is May 30th instead of May 7. I told them they were wrong. And again in February AND March I fought with them. In March I had another ultrasound and the tech kept saying she couldn't get a good measurement, but sent the scan info off to the birth center anyways. In March I was forced to leave my birth center and my hopes and dreams of what I wanted for my birth. I was forced to go to a hospital. The first OB I saw argued and didn't listen to me. The second doctor was the only midwife at that hospital and even she didn't listen to me and told me that they have to go by ultrasounds instead of LMPs because "ultrasounds are more accurate." I was felt alone and overwhelmed. The Tuesday before, the 12th of April my contractions got intense and I was losing my plug. My contractions got to 1 minute long and one minute apart when I reluctantly agree to go to the hospital at 4:30 Wednesday moring where they stopped completely. The OB on call talked to me like I was a child and told me I had braxton hicks contractions. I told him "oh I didn't realize that braxton hicks caused bloody show and dilation. Glad I know THIS now after 5 babies. Thanks."

He also did an ultrasound scan and put in my charts I was 33 weeks. I was so upset that that I was forced to get unnecessary steroid shots and put on a 24 hour watch at the hospital. I cried all day Wednesday and refused to stay the night. I had to go back Thursday morning for the second steroid injection. Again, I cried all day Thursday. Thursday night my contractions started again, completely irregular. By Friday I had gone a full week in labor. I couldn't sleep, I was depressed, my daughter was posterior and pinching a nerve in my diaphragm causing intense shoulder pain and upper back tension. I was miserable. Saturday my contractions got more regular. I told my husband to go to work. Hours went by and they got closer and closer together. I ignored them as best as I could. I didn't want another Tuesday. Saturday afternoon my water broke. That's when I told my husband to come home. By the time we got to the hospital they were intense. Got up to evaluation where I was screaming at nurses I'm 37 weeks NOT 33!! During evaluation, a nurse violated me with a speculum. It felt like I was being molested (I have been before so I know what THAT feels like). I laid there and cried, sobbing horrifically. They put me in a birthing room where my contractions slowed and nearly stopped. I realised then that I had a mental block to hospitals. I ripped off the monitors and went into the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet brought me so much comfort physically. I labored for several hours and attempted to sleep because I was exhausted. About 12 hours after my water broke I was 10cm and 100%. They told me to lay on my back, I said NO I can't. I said I want to squat. They said just lay on your side. My back was twisted and I was in pain while my legs were pulled back and I was ordered to push. I cried through pushing my daughter out. Only four pushes. I never went into transition. I reached for my daughter but my hands got pushed back as they immediately clamped her cord- I told them I wanted to delay cord clamping. And they cut the cord- at least my husband cut it. They they took her to go clean her and everything. I wanted immediate skin to skin. Then they started pulling the umbilical cord to pull my placenta out and I said I wanted to birth my placenta and they said this is easier as they violently pushed my stomach to pull my placenta out. They pushed so hard it hurt. I just cried because I couldn't do anything else. When I got my daughter- nearly a half hour after she was born- she was wrapped in a blanket and I had to unwrap her so I could do skin to skin.

The NICU pediatrician said her gestational age at birth was 37 weeks. She was full term and NOT premature.