Am I in the wrong?

Question

After we are home from the hospital with our son, me and my so agreed that we would like just a week to ourselves with no visitors.. we don't care who comes to visit in the hospital or how long they stay but after we are home we just want some time to get adjusted and bond with our baby. This is the first for both of us btw. So far everyone has been completely fine with it.. except for my mom. 😒 she got pissed, I just don't get it. Is this a crazy request? Anyone else with this issue?

Answer

Shit hit the fan when I told my mom I would not be notifying anyone that I've gone into labor, but after he is born, she will be the first to know and after 6 hours when we begin accepting visitors, she will also be the first to meet him.... Apparently none of that is good enough for her because "she has birthing rights" and DEMANDS that I tell her when I'm in labor..... Uhhh, not with that attitude you don't lol.
We will be sticking to our guns. As hard as it is, especially with your mom, you need to lay down the rules & stick to it now. Otherwise she will be telling you how to parent your kids for the rest of your lives. It needs to be established early on that what you say goes. That doesn't however mean there can't be a compromise though. What if you promise that she be the very first person allowed to visit?

Answer

You have the right to take all the time you need!! You're going to be brand new parents! You guys need to adjust and figure out all the ins and outs of taking care of the little one. I'm glad you had the guts to tell everyone! A lot of people just grin and bear it.

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I need to have this conversation with my mom and I'm dreading it. I already know she will be upset. I don't think you're in the wrong at all!

Answer

You are so not! This is your time with your new baby to get accustomed to this huge change. We are first timers too. We have family waiting at least a month, of corse the closest family lives 900 miles away, but we don't want people staying at our house when we come home. I don't care who visits at the hospital, but I don't want to deal with company and a new baby for the first time, right in the middle of my husbands crazy busy work schedule (he travels for work every week). I have to get a schedule and learn what I'm doing without worrying that you have enough clean towels or that you need to be shown how to work the washer. It's your right to make the rules. Something I'm learning right now. This is our time to put our babies first. As first time moms, it's an adjustment, but you set the rules, and don't let anyone guilt you into anything you don't want! 💗

Answer

Same with us. FTM and my daughter is in the NICU. My husband lives out of state (dual military) so he's only here for 40 days. When she comes home we're not taking visitors for the first week. We need to bond as a family unit. My mom was upset that I didn't want her here for the delivery. I understand it's her first grandchild but I felt with my husband and I not living in the same household currently, I wanted him and I to share that moment together. Ultimately you have to do what's right for you and your family.

Answer

There's no way I could tell my mom that she couldn't come see my first baby for a week! It was hard enough telling her that she couldn't be in during the birth or for 2 hours after. During that time I think I'll want my mom the most just for some extra support... That's just me though me and my mom have always been close.

Answer

No, I honestly wish I had the guts to tell mine and my so's family the same thing but we live in different states and I just cant... (different states but not too far of a drive) I'm already stressing out about where we're going to put people when they come visit. We only have one spare room and both have multiple parents that are all planning on making this trip at the same time..

Answer

I told everyone 2 weeks. Including (and especially!) my mom.

She booked a flight down exactly two weeks after my due date. 😳🔫 and thinks she'll be staying here.

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You're not wrong. I understand why your mom would feel some type of way, though.  I think most maternal grandparents would be disappointed.  My mom was such a big help the first time and now we live together so she'll be able to help this time as well. We won't be having many visitors though. I'm just paranoid about germs and different ppl touching my baby lol

Answer

We are doing that. We even asked my hubby's sister to wait until the 17th so we could all go to fair together and I won't be chained to the bed bleeding and super exhausted in the first week when she visits. Only person we are allowing is probably my sister and neice for a couple days to the house because my neice is only 6 and can't come visit in the hospital she's too young. You're not irrational at all. It's a good idea actually. Keeps baby from being too confused and gets a good solid bonding and rythym going :)

Am I in the wrong?

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