What should I do?

Question

Ok I'm currently 17, I had gotten pregnant last year and I had taken my own test and had consulted the baby's father as soon as I found out, he wasn't for it but he left the decision up to me whether or not to keep it. I was going to keep it no questions asked. But later as time passed I started to forget about it due to the fact I had school and work and was very busy. Plus I didn't have symptoms, just missed periods and little stomach pain. Later my Gma had noticed I was growing and she had told my mother and she made me tear again yet it was still hard for me to believe and it came back positive and she spazzed out, she reacted right away. Sadly she FORCED me to get rid of it. I tried everything in my power to go against it but she was trying to put me out send the father to jail and everything. So it happened I stressed and cried for months at a time. And she put me on nexplanon. She never lets me choose what to do with my body. So me and the baby's father didn't last and I currently found the love of my life. And I decided I want a child. I was thinking about getting my BC out to try to have one. Ik I will be criticized and all but I feel like I have to make up for what I've done. I was thinking about getting it out around the end of this year so I will be 18 when the baby's here. Really nothing can change my mind about wanting to try again but I just need help with timing it.😰😒😭

Accepted Answer

I don't mean this harshly,  but if only last year you were pregnant and forgot that you were pregnant.... Maybe you need a little bit more time to make sure it's the right decision to have a baby now.

Answer

Okay. First off, she's in the wrong. She should have never forced you to do that. And technically she cannot. No doctor will do a procedure if you tell them you feel forced. But no, I think you should wait and think this out. I feel like you want to do this for a couple reasons. 
1. I think you want to do this to rebel, to take control and stick it to her which I don't blame you for. 
2. I think you want to do this because you were forced into an abortion and now you feel like something is missing which I aslo don't blame you for. 
I think you should wait until you're older, more emotionally and financially stable.

Answer

Who is voting to go for it? Really? Sorry OP for your loss. Really. But do you have a job? Does your boyfriend? Do you have money? A place to live? Do you even pay your own cell phone bill? Are you even finished high school?

Wait. Your time will come.

Answer

Let me start by saying I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. It is really common for women after abortion to want to get pregnant again, it's called something like replacement baby syndrome and it's a very real and heartbreaking thing to go through. You must have many emotions right now but before you make any major decisions you should talk those emotions out with a therapist or support group. Google PASS support group, there is a really helpful online forum of women who regret abortions for different reasons. 
Before getting pregnant just ask yourself if you're in the same situation you were when you got pregnant the first time. If you're still living at home, don't have a stable and well paying job, haven't gotten a degree, you have to consider that now may not be the righ time. 
I know it is so so so so hard to wait after emotional trauma like that, but from someone in the same position I promise you that it is so worth waiting and being in a more secure position in your life. It just makes everything less stressful and allows you the best experience of pregnancy and the baby the best opportunities in life. 
It might help to start saving money, talk about the kind of parents you'll be with your bf, laugh about names, things that help you look forward to being a mother at a better time and also prepare you for when that comes. 
I promise once you do get pregnant, when it's a good time and you are ready and your family is there to support you, you forget all of the resentment and grief. 💕

Answer

Wait. There's no rush. You're still young. Wait until you are in s more stable situation with a living partner and a supportive mother. It will be best for Bub

Answer

Yea not to be rude but seriously...if you forgot you were growing a tiny little living human person inside of your body because you got busy then you definitely are not ready. Wait a few years! There's no rush.

Answer

You can never undo what you have done or make up for it in any way. What's done is done. Having another baby doesn't erase the past. It will always hurt a little.

Answer

Make sure that's what you really want. I had my first child @ 19 and another @21. I wish I would've waited and enjoyed life first . I would say finish school go to college or get a good paying job because its hard. Good Luck

Answer

I dont mean to be mean in anyways or make you feel bad. NOBODY can force you to get an abortion in fact i dont think they would if they knew you were feeling pressured. Okay, so what if she put you out? There's services out there that couldve helped you. I got pregnant at 17 and my mom kicked me out but i went into a shelter for teen moms and they helped me out a lot. And also im curious why would your mom put him in jail? I mean you were 17 so legally you can give consent to have sex. Im sorry you didn't have enough resources and information in order to go thru the pregnancy. I just have to advice you that you really should wait when you more mature off to college. You might feel like your bf now is the love of your life but trust me it isn't always like that. You are still young please go out and explore and enjoy life to the fullest before you bring a baby to this word specially if you just want  it just to make up for last time. Take care and i really hope you think long and hard about this. Hugs!❤

Answer

I'm so sorry. Minor or not you had every right to make the decision yourself. I had an abortion myself because I was too sick to carry a baby and I feel like the whole experience has changed me. Now my body and emotions tell me the I want a baby even though I logically know that I can't. What you are feeling is natural. Being pregnant turned your mommy instinct on, but that doesn't mean you are ready to have kids. I have to remind myself that it's the hormones/psychological after effects and not evidence that I'm truly ready.

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