The last 5 days have been some of the hardest in my life. We had initially heard the heartbeat and all looked well at 6 weeks + 3. I went for another appointment last Wednesday at 9 weeks + 4 and it was not good. The baby had not grown as much as expected and the heartbeat was very faint. My first ever mother's day was spent agonizing over whether my baby was even still alive.

My follow up was this afternoon. I have lost the baby at 10 weeks and will miscarry. It shrank to .7 cm and there is no heartbeat. The gestational sac also collapsed. I'm very sad, but amazingly, I'm at peace. I think I already knew in my heart. Mother's intuition. I thank God for his peace that surpasses all understanding and I trust in his timing. This too shall pass, and we will heal and try again.

My doctor has been very compassionate with us. She cried when we cried and even shared her own story of miscarriage before having her two sons. I am thankful for her.

I go tomorrow morning for an exam and I can opt to take medication to start the process if i haven't passed anything before then. We really wanted to approach naturally if possible and the doctor supports that. I'm already having cramps and expect to begin bleeding soon. This is all so surreal. What does a woman do while miscarrying? Watch Netflix? Sit and cry? Pray? All of the above? So many emotions.

Thank you to anyone who has read my story. I wish you all the best blessings with your little ones. ❤❤❤ we are all in this together.