I've dealt with severe antenatal depression this entire pregnancy. At one point I didn't leave my bed for 2 weeks. Not to eat, not to drink, not to bathe. I tried numerous times to get help but no one would take me seriously despite the fact I kept telling them I was suicidal. They would test me for drugs/alcohol and send me home. I did a voluntary hospitalization for a few days but they had no suggestions I hadn't already pursued.

I'm 37 weeks 3 days now and quite suddenly became suicidal again. Seeking help seems futile as they will just turn me away again. I have a plan. I always have a plan. How do I stop myself? How do I get better when there is no help?