"When are you going to have kids?"

Question

This question hurts to the core. We've been trying for 2 years with no luck.

Sorry for the depressing post and anonymity. I'm having trouble sleeping and have no one who understands how this feels.

Answer

Oh my goodness, I got this for YEARS from my in-laws. We were together for 9 years before we even decided to have a baby and over the years the question was getting more and more annoying.  Then when we started trying and it wasn't happening at first, the questions became even more insensitive.  It has genuinely pushed a huge wedge between us!

Some people told me to hit back at people that asked but it's very difficult in that position because you feel so damn awkward and weighed down with the reality of the situation.

I wish you all the luck in the world with conceiving.  The best thing I ever did was to try and take a step back from it and stop obsessing over dates and cycles.  Lots of love! 😘

Answer

I'm with you! Sometimes being asked that can be really gutting. I say something nice like, "whenever it happens". It just feels so invasive. I also don't want to say, "we have been trying", because I actually don't want people to know we have been trying- weird enough as it sounds. I don't want people to start tracking how long we have been trying unsuccessfully. My husband and I have great communication, and my close friends are a huge support too. I'm here to support you if you don't feel like you can get that anywhere else! Period was supposed to come today- I'm hoping and praying it is our time. I hope and pray the same for you! Baby dust!

Answer

Months ago we were helping my in-laws pack and my husband's mom was just sitting and flat out asked me "do you even want kids?". My husband doesn't talk to his parents or family like I talk to mine so they have no clue about us TTC for 4 years with nothing. It just killed me, sitting at a storage place I was holding back tears and anger because she has no clue how hard we are trying. I've had 2 failed iuis and my thyroid is fucked up and won't stay in a good level for more then 4 weeks. We are trying to get me straightened out before we do our last IUI, which I hope works other wise I don't know what to do. Luckily his parents now live in a whole other country. But I keep seeing other people on their 1st 2ed or 3rd kid and I can't even have one. I had a boyfriend who passed and his 16 year old little sister is pregnant, and that just kills me. Everything just sucks

Answer

I get it and I'm sorry. :( My bf's family keeps asking if we are going to try again. Since January we've had a miscarriage and an ectopic. It's been rough. Hugs

"When are you going to have kids?"

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