I'm so confused

Ebony Jay • I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 34, from mid Wales, two angel babies and one beautiful daughter, Elsie who will be 4 soon , expecting our next little miracle 01.10.2022
So 2 weeks ago I got 4 positives, faint but still there. Monday af was due didn't turn up so I tested, got two negatives. Af still hasn't turned up. Don't want to test again afraid of disappointment. It will be my rainbow baby! X