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Some back story: I still have momma and daddy dogs (trixy, and buddy) and they had 6 pups. The runt was PTS a few weeks after birth, Christmas 2006. The biggest, Haus, was unexpectedly dumped into my responsibility because of my parents own health issues last December. Haus seemingly had a "hot spot" that has gotten out of control. It has rapidly grown to the point I wondered if it was a tumor. It's prevented me from bathing him recently because I'm scared the water will hurt him. It has that *cancer smell* if anyone knows what I mean. One of my childhood dogs that passed in 2010 had a prolapsed vulva due to cancer, and it kind of looked like that, but on his back 😞. The vet we took her to was shut down due to milking owners out of money and not being up front about knowing dogs had cancer & so on.  Recently, his brother ruckus, also seemingly had a hot spot, that has rapidly grown on his back faster than Haus' has. My mom took him to the vet, and it was internal tumors coming out. They removed a lot, but wanna do chemo for the rest. They (the litter) will turn 10 on 12/11, so we probably will not go forward with chemotherapy and just watch his personality from here onward. So....... I know what is going on with Haus. It's obvious. I've called and left a message for the shelter about free or low cost euthanasia. No return, yet. Every vet requires an examination (+ the fee) before euthanasia --- can any vet techs on here explain that? It's so obvious Haus needs to go. I can also bring in his baby pictures to prove he is MY dog and I didn't steal him. There is also a sedation fee, the euthanasia fee, disposal fee, and then the rest of the fees depending on what I do with his body. Even communal cremation costs something and honestly screw that!! If I'm paying for cremation I WANT HIM BACK! I hate the idea of burying anything, but I have decided.... I can pay for euthanasia if I have to-- but not much else. I'll take his body home, and bury him under a weeping willow tree I'll buy soon. A couple of friends are coming over to prepare to dig for me tomorrow 😞. I understand I shouldn't expect these doctors skills for free, but this is so hard. $300+ is a hard hit. It hurts because I called this when I was 18 in 2006. I knew we would probably suffer loss back to back, but at 28 I'm now wondering where all this time has gone. It doesn't feel real. I should be happy we were able to keep mom + dad (emergency rescues), the entire litter, and then my rescue chihuahua 3 years later in 2009. But it just hurts it has to end this way. Haus was the biggest ever since his first breath, which is why I named him that. It hurts seeing such an abnormally huge gentle giant have to leave us like this. I did everything right in his life. My childhood dog had cancer because we didn't spay her and I didn't want that to happen again. I Fed him high end expensive foods, even did a raw diet, kept up with vaccines, neutered him at a young age, taught him tricks, went on walks and runs... And now this. Cancer still struck despite my preventive efforts. If anyone has any similar experiences, please share. This is so difficult... And can I end this with a #F-CANCER without offending anyone????! Something we can all agree on! 😢