Really grieving today

silly to say, it's been about 3 weeks since our chemical which ended in us deciding to no longer ttc. I'm really feeling sorry for myself today. I took a pregnancy test (of course negative) and just started bawling. Last night the onesie I so stupidly ordered the day after the 1st positive test came in the mail.

Next month I won't even have a reason to think I might be pregnant since we've started taking action to prevent.

it's all surreal. it changed so fast. 6 months of trying, then the positive tests. then the bleeding. and now, business as usual.