So on May 10th, me & my husbands anniversary & mothers birthday, I ended up heading into the ER due to having labor pains & my entire left leg being swollen & numb just to find out what I had already knew & was on the look out for, which was severe preeclampsia.. My BP was waay above 140/90 ranging from the hundreds to two hundreds. I was then admitted & the Doctor decided that it would be best to deliver baby via c-section due to my cervix being closed, bp being extremely too high & at that time only being 34 weeks & 5 days ... I really wanted to try for my VBAC but at that point it was what's best for my baby! especially without knowing how long doing a trial of labor would be & whether or not it'd be successful. So my c-section came & went & my little Noah was born at 4pounds & 9 ounces ❤️! I stayed in the hospital for a period of 4 days, so I've been home since the 14th & I'm in so much pain from the c section & in the process of healing although I'm still experiencing problems with my BP, swollen feet & ankles as well as my vagina/pubic bone .. However, I can't stop crying I'm super emotional because I just want my baby here with me! I wanted him to come home with his parents but I understand that he's working on increasing his feedings which he's doing great at & just regulating his temp. Without having to use the bili lights .. It's just everytime I go home from visiting him I feel like a part of me is gone, I feel like a horrible mother but I know that if he were here it would be kind of hard because of trying to heal from the c section, I just wish I knew how to cope with feeling this way, they said at the most, he'll just be there for a few more days .. It's just so hard 😓 him being born was one of the best days of my life! Nothing could ever compare to everything that I felt within when meeting him & bringing him into this world! He's the most precious thing ever, & I'm obsessed .. He's truly the LOML ❤️👶🏻🐣👣, just can't wait until I get that call saying that he's ready!