It still hurts

I was diagnosed with a missed mc on December 21st. I took the cytotec on December 27 and confirmed the mc was completed exactly 2 weeks later.

I had to take a break from glow because I was driving myself nuts and we decided to wait to try again. Here I am 3 months after my mc is complete and all I can think about is how much I want my baby back. It has been way worse the last week since we went bowling with some new friends from my husband's work that have a newborn. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy when they lovingly passed the baby back and forth between frames.

I want to try again, but we're struggling financially since my husband decided to go back to school and we agreed to wait until he finished. The thoughts are consuming me and I really feel like I'm slipping into this dark place.