Dinner at my house tonight!

SeeYouNextTuesday • Single atheist badass career Mom. I say it like it is because I'm too old to play games and I don’t have time for fluff. 😘
Objective: make easy dinner of spaghetti and chefs sauce. Easy peasy. 
NOTE: husband out of town as he has been since also was 2 weeks old. 
1) put baby down in his swing because he's exhausted and needs a nap. Head down with the kids to make dinner. 
2) negotiate with 3 year old about which pasta HE wants because twirling spaghetti is too hard for him. Listen to 4 year old talk about how he wants "big boy pasta." 
3) put on two pots of water to boil. Put sauce is microwave. Listen to baby now screaming. Threaten kids not to make a ton of noise.
4) run upstairs to baby room, retuck baby in swing, squat for approx 3 mins while jiggling swing. Run back downstairs.
5) everyone alive. Check pasta water. Small pot for 3 year old pasta ready. Drop pasta. Threaten curious 4 year old of death should he even think of touching hot stove. Baby again screaming. 
6) repeat step 4. 
7) Stir 3 year old pasta. Drop adult and 4 year old spaghetti.  Threaten curious 4 year old of death should he even think of touching hot stove. Baby again screaming.
8) repeat step 4
9) kids now totally taking advantage and running a full on muck! Threaten them with chicken livers for dinner if they don't glue asses to their chairs. Drain kid pasta. Stir adult pasta. Take sauce out of microwave and swear because sauce is all over the top. Leave it for later. Stir pasta again. Baby screaming.
10) repeat step 4. I swear this time his eyelids are finally closing. 
11) drain what is no doubt overdone spaghetti. Start plating. I want a plate, no a bowl, no a plate, fork, no spoon... Omg! Got it! Sit and eat. I want milk, no water, more "snow cheese." Done! Eat!!!! 
12) realize not enough sauce for myself. Pop more in the microwave. Wait. Make my plate. Get some water. Sit down. Get a bite ready, baby awake and screaming. Apparently 10 mins was enough. Run upstairs again.
SO- dinner saved for later. I'll figure it out. Exercise? I think I'm good. Patience, shot to shit. He's asleep on my lap now which apparently is the only place he wants to be. New mission, don't move. 
I miss my husband