Most of you say size doesn't matter but..

So this is like going to be brutally honest and if you can't handle that then click out now. I'm going into my personal experiences and preferences and I'm wanting to know atleast if anyone relates to me. I see posts asking if size matters and it's always flooded with women saying no as long as he knows how to use it. Well.. PERSONALLY for me, I need a good sexual connection with someone. I have dated a guy that was super small, like micro penis. I literally felt nothing. I tried every position, every tip and trick. Cock rings, toys. Nothing freaking worked. I couldn't get off, I would get so frustrated and run off to the bathroom to finish myself off and I felt guilty for that because I knew it had to make him feel bad but it's like he was getting off and I was left hanging completely unsatisfied.  I have also been with a guy that was smaller but knew how to use it. It was okay but It still didn't compare to the bigger guy I had been with. Even if he's big and doesn't know how to use it at least you can get on top and enjoy yourself. Of course I liked him (micro penis guy) and sex isn't everything but it is important, atleast to me it is and if I don't have that sexual connection with someone it just kills it for me. I was actually excited when I found out my SO was on the bigger side, it was like a relief.  I feel like I come off so mean when I talk about this. I like sex, I like really really enjoying sex. With a bigger guy, So size matters to me, like a lot. I feel like shitty person for it.