Breakup and sadness

So. My (ex)boyfriend boyfriend of 11 months broke up with me about a month ago. April 24th. Anyways... it was a pretty toxic relationship? It was good, really good at most times but we always lashed out at each other. Mainly the reason we fought was because of my stupid way of thinking. But I was so in love with him, and I still am. He wants nothing to do with me and it hurts so bad! I try not to think about it, but we were together for almost a year. I spent a whole 11 months with him, talking to him everyday. Calling each other to say goodnight every single night. I just miss it all so much. I know I should move on, but it's so hard because I just don't want to. I can't picture myself with anyone else but him, and I can't picture him with anyone else. It just doesn't seem right. We were so close.