Okay girls, I hate doing this but I need help so bad. So I am 18, and I am seeing/sleeping with a guy who is 37. We have the standard rules of hooking up, and this started 9 months ago so keep that in mind too. I've developed some REALLY intense feelings for this man, I feel like I'm a middle schooler so intense and of course I did because FWB's never work. Most of the time when I see him it's just sex and talk for alittle and then leave. But lately he started saying things like "I kind of miss you" and he has this video of me giving him a blow job and he asked me weather my eyes are green or blue and that's just so god damn sweet. And he does things like make sure the lights are on before we do it because he says he "could be doing anyone, part of what's sexy is that it's you." And I mean i am not a small girl and he is this successful paramedic that teaches EMT school and was in the war in Iraq and he's chosen to spend some nights with me... So he has to kind of like me right? So anyway... To the part I need advice on. So today we where supposed to see each other and I was going to try to slyly bring up if maybe he had feelings for me too but he canceled on me... Which has made this the third time he canceled on me in the last 2 weeks. So he's flying out today to go home for awhile and then he'll be flying back to my area to teach again in 2 weeks. I'm just not sure if I should wait and try to tell him that I don't like just hooking up of if I should tell him now and be like "Look man, I love having sex with you, but I also really love being around you and it's driving me crazy not knowing if you feel the same way." But I'm also worried because what 37 year old man is going to tell an 18 year old that they want to be with them. The likely hood is slim. And how should I bring this topic up to him? Because I have to either way. I either have to tell him that I'm developing some really intense feelings or I need to tell him that I can't be treated like a hookup anymore because it's not good for my physicological state. So I'm going to include a screen shot of our messages from today and I would LOVE for someone to help me out something together because i am terrible at words and feelings.