I'm a mess :(
A year and some ago I unforunately went through one of the worst ordeals of my life..
I lost my two best girlfriends and a baby..
My boyfriend at the time and I were always fighting and it always got nasty
(Once he hit me in the face and we split for a while but I stupidly believed he was sorry and wouldn't do it again so I ran back )
I found out I was pregnant and I was scared to tell him
So I told one of my bestfriends (we'll call her Laura) and she was like oh bad timing , but you're having a baby
Congrats
And that I can do it, etc.
I don't believe in abortion so I was in mindset I was having a baby
At the same time I was having lots of problems with my other bestfriends boyfriend ( we'll name him Danny)
So me and Danny were always In a constant fight because he was a dick
So this huge fight breaks out and he calls me a stupid cunt and so on
And I was furious and just deleted them both from my life because I couldn't believe she wouldn't stand up for me ( I've known her since I was 3 )
So her and I sorta severed our ties
And I was just dealing with the pregnancy sort of alone with Laura
So I had to muster up the guts to tell my sorta ex/boyfriend I was pregnant
So I plan a sexy night and just go hang with him
He absolutely freaks out and says no and he can't be a dad
And I have to have a abortion and all this crazy stuff
I immediately broke down
And he like calmed down , told me we would think about our options and that we should just enjoy each other
I'm guessing it was because he was excited to come inside me so he initiated sex
He had me doggy style and once he pulled me in to finish he just pushed me off the bed onto my face and got off and started attacking me
He kicked me, pulled me up by my hair and proceeded to go crazy
I was so scared
I just covered my face and cried
I didn't know what to do
I started cramping, even breathing was hurting and I was begging him to stop
He just stood over me and threw my clothes at me and told me to get out
I had to fumble for my purse and keys while getting dressed because he kept pushing me around
I just ran to a park by his place and called my male bestfriend because I didn't think I was in the best condition to drive
He came and just held me while I just bawled
I didn't know what else to do- he didn't know what just happened
He figured we got into a fight like always
I was cramping real bad by then
I had to tell him what happened and that I was pregnant and I needed to go to the hospital
He got so mad
He wanted to go back and kill him but I told him he wasn't worth it and I needed to get checked out
I ended up having a miscarriage and passing the baby two days later.
It was so heartbreaking
I couldn't handle it.
My bestfriend Laura was so mad I didn't call the cops and I let him kill my baby that she never talked to me again
She just up and disappeared out of my life.. And I've been so depressed lately
There's so much I want to talk about and somethings are just too much for my male friends, even though I know they try somethings I just don't think they really want to hear
And I'm going crazy
I don't think I should even tell my boyfriend of 7 months :(
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