Really having to tap into my faith and my inner guidance to help get me through these last 15 weeks a I knew pregnancy wasn't easy but I definitely didn't know it was this hard. you know I come from a place where I've been watching my friends have babies since they were 15 and I was lucky enough to wait. I'll be 30 this year and this is my first butt sometimes I wish maybe I would have done this earlier maybe I would have had more patience but who knows that part doesn't matter. now my mental status is really starting to mess with me about being pregnant maybe it's because I'm doing this alone which I don't mind don't get it twisted but I think that is starting to hurt me. my Independence is starting to get in the way because I feel so horrible all the time and then concentrate on feeling so horrible that I stay horrible if that makes any sense to anybody. so the days that I'm not at work I look so forward to those 3 days off like it's going to be amazing and they're worse I'd almost rather be at work because if I'm at home I can't even get out of bed it's so depressing. I don't understand what's wrong I just know that being pregnant is much harder than I thought it would be and it makes me feel like such a jerk and weak because I've always been able to handle anything that comes my way, I'm just built like that I was brought up like that but this has definitely shown me that I can't handle everything. being a mom I know I can handle that I'll look forward to that the sleepless nights the crying all that but the being pregnant part is terrible please God all I'm asking and for you ladies please pray for me to help me get through the next 15 weeks thank you