To wait or not to wait

Ap
AF was due May 22. On my 21 I started cramping. By mid day there was very dark brown spotting, nothing like my normal flow. The next day there was dark blood, moderate flow. Then back to dark spotting. This isn't my usual period but I don't want to test either. Every time I so much as look at that box under my sink my hope soares despite telling myself not to expect anything. Decidual bleeding maybe? This wishful thinking is going to be the death of me.