5 weeks and still not bonding

Is anybody else feeling like they aren't bonding with their baby? Is this normal? I'm a new mum. I float from looking at him asleep and thinking he's so cute to smiling with him when he's playing to hating him when he's crying and I'm exhausted. I have good days and bad days with him.... mostly bad. I keep reading that it gets better. But when does it? I keep seeing mums talk about this undying love for their child. When will I feel this? 😢 My baby knows me. I see it when he looks at me at times and I'm desperate to give him this so-called undying love. I'm desperate to feel it. But how can I when all he does is cry? I'm so tearful right now because he was crying and I told my husband that I hate our child. I can't believe I said that but it's really what I was feeling there and then. Is it normal to feel this way at times?