My life is simply a complete disaster. From my "home", my mind, my heart, deep into my soul. I will be 18 June 24th, my fiance turned 19 March 15th, my dad is 68 and a pill addict, my sister is a 21 year old drug addict, my mother passed away April 8, 2015. My parents separated when i was young, my mom was my heart and soul and is until this day. She passed away totally randomly, right next to me and in my arms. She had an unnoticed problems with a blood vessel deformity. I planned her funeral on my own and was able to get her buried with no coverage nor help. Me and my fiance have been together since December 11th, 2013. He has been my absolute rock and has given my life a meaning for living. November of 2013 i was discharged from a rehabilitation center and i have been in recovery since. He has been my way of coping and holding myself together. My dad is paid $1000 monthly to take care of me from social security, and spends none on me other than feeding me and refuses to let me get a job. On Easter of this year, my fiance Jordan was arrested for a murder he did not commit. He was arrested on the terms that a female that had committed the murder blamed it on him. He has been in the county jail for 60 days today, and the courts present no evidence against him tying him to this crime other than the females statement. He is being held with a $250,000 which is completely impossible to pay. This man is my first and only love, my absolute everything, and i talk to him for 15 minutes every day. I have been in a juvenile facility for 7 months before rehab, and i still remember what it is like being incarcerated and i will probably never forget it. I am here with nothing, no reliable family members, fighting my disease of addiction and the depression i have dealt with for as long as i can remember. Luckily, on my 18th birthday, i will be escaping this prison i an supposed to call home to live with my fiance's grandmother. I will finally be able to live in a drug Free environment and get a job to begin my life including starting home school for my senior year. I am so miserable, so broken, so lonely, so tired of fighting. Tired of denying any feelings for anything except my Jordan and feeling so numb. Being so alone, and taking on so much without the love of my life. I just feel so lost. No one to talk to, no one to understand. Without Jordan i feel like my purpose to push towards bettering my life is gone.