So May 6, I delivered my 1 pound, 1 ounce sleeping angel baby... She was tiny and perfect...  I delivered her with few issues because she was so tiny... But my cervix closed on the placenta and no matter how hard I pushed and how hard the doctor pulled (and pushed), I could not deliver the placenta. They put me under for a D&C. I lost a lot of blood so they made me stay overnight at the hospital... Where I could hear the healthy babies crying all night... My follow up was today. Have been counting down days to find out what happened to my child as there was no visible "answer" that day... So they say ok, let's do this ultrasound first (which I've been DREADING, because last one I had was where I saw my lifeless child inside me, now I was going to be looking at emptiness where she SHOULD HAVE BEEN.) The tech puts the ultrasound in and says "I need the doctor." And walks away. Well fuck me, man, WHAT NOW. I've gone through enough. But apparently I have not. So tmrw im scheduled for D&C, round two, to remove the "alarmingly large mass still in your uterus." And to top it off, I tested positive for group b strep, and that's what killed her, but it's impossible to know if I contracted it, she died and I got PPROM because of it, or if I had PPROM, then contracted it and she died. So I basically got the answer I thought I'd get: the combination "we don't REALLY know" and "it was a freak thing." I don't know how much more of this I can take... 😪