My mother is not a loving mother. She's told me she hates me. She's slapped and punched me in the face. She makes fun of me to other family members. She wrote  terrible things about me on social media when I refused to speak to her. She favours my siblings a lot more.

There's also something weird about my birth certificate as well. Every time I need to use it, the people there always tell me it's a copy, and not the original. Then my mother will "take care of it". On this copy, it also says she received it two years after I was born. I know sometimes it takes a while to recieve it, but I thought I would throw that in.

There's no photos of her pregnant with me, in the hospital, or even right after I was born. I have scars on my chin no one seems to remember how they got there. She got very defensive when I asked what her blood type was and what mine was. She has also had multiple miscarriages before conceiving me. 

I know every child from an abusive home longs to be adopted. But I'm not even sure if adopted is the word I'm looking for, because she's such a cruel woman, I don't believe she would even want to adopt a child. I just don't think biologically that she's my mother, it's a very, very strong feeling. I also, since I was very young, have had dreams about a woman with red, curly hair who says she's my mother. I know that sounds insane, but that's what originally made me start thinking I could be adopted. 

I know she would be the kind of person to take it to the grave with her.  She would NOT tell me if I was. She's a compulsive liar. Nor would any family. Is there any steps I can take into figuring this out on my own without looking silly? It's not even about wanting to be adopted or not hers, it's just been such a nagging thought for the longest time that I need to find out for myself. I've even tried looking up adoption records an everything. 

I live in QC, Canada, if that helps. Please no rude comments. I'm an adult now, and I just need to find the truth out by myself, because I know no one will help me, and if I don't figure it out, I'll never have the answers. 

Oh - I've asked her if she's ever lost the birth certificate. She said no. Like I said, I don't think that's a huge red flag, I just threw it in. 

As for the scratches, there's multiple, around 4, very indented. It was clearly something very big that happened to leave marks like this.