Lesbian/ Gay couples, would you co-parent with your sperm donor?

Question

My soon to be wife and I are in that starting phase of ttc. We have two sperm donors that we have been talking to. One doesn't really want anything to do with the child bc he has his own family and life, the second would like to be a co-parent but very little, no family no lady in his life and is younger. What would you do or have done if you and you partner had to pick?

Answer

My wife and I have had a few friends of ours offer to donate sperm, some signing over full rights and some wanting to coparent. We have decided to use a sperm bank because we don't want to risk having a donor change his mind or question out parenting style even if he has no rights. It can be a very sticky situation.

Answer

Nope. My wife and I went to a cryo bank because we were not interested in "another parent". I highly advise you to seek legal help if you go this route. If that man changes his mind in the future he can fight you for custody. Also your wife can't adopt your child or be legally considered the child's parent if that man doesn't give up all his rights to the child. You might think you're saving money by not paying for sperm from a sperm bank but in the long run it will cost you a lot more.

Answer

We thought about it and discussed it with a friend, but we aren't looking to co-parent and the legal fees and red tape surrounding a known donor is more complicated than using a anonymous donor so we are going that route.

Answer

Nooooooooo. Our donor is an amazing guy. But defiantly not.