Losing my twin brother.

I don't know when I will ever get used to it.. every day I ask myself how I found myself here. I was never ready for this. It's been five months but I am still broken. He was a huge part of my life and wish i could hear his laughter it always made my day.... I can't believe left me behind.. when he passed away my daughter was still four months so I had to be strong. I had to be strong for my mom and brothers his girlfriend and his son. Not once have I heard any of them ask me how I feel