Feel like just giving up

Well my period isn't due for another 4 days but I'm having slight cramping and spotting after peeing. Some people have told me that it could be implantation bleeding but after 4+ years of ttc, I know better then to get my hopes up. My boyfriend has been so supportive but sometimes I hate bringing it up because I can see in his eyes that he's sad that we haven't been able to conceive yet. Sorry about the self pity post but I just needed to vent