I went out with around 80 guys or more, made tons of money but it isn't worth it. I contracted 1 STD and learned from my mistakes. I am grateful for not contracting HIV or something more serious since I wasn't careful at all with a bunch of strangers. I was really really lucky for that and I don't even think I deserved to be. 

I just really want to know how to stop feeling so bad and shitty about myself, it's been a while but the feelings won't go away. I'm always putting myself down for it and thinking how much of cheap trashy slut I was and how dirty I was/am. I think of how my family raised me with so much love not for me to go out and sell my body to strangers without even protecting myself. My thoughts about myself drive me crazy and sometimes I honestly feel so ashamed of it I want to kill myself so my mind will stop bashing me. I ddont know what else to do to make it stop. I'm desperate in need of help.