At some point he was begging me if he could give me a foot massage (I knew he had a foot fetish, but I didn't realize to what extent) and since he wouldn't let it go, I agreed in the end. Then he started acting all weird, calling me mistress and when I kicked him away he seemed to like that so I didn't know what to do. I completely froze when I noticed that he was actually... Jacking off (!!!) I was disgusted but I didn't know what to do, especially when he said he was going to cum. It was really gross. 

He went to clean up and when he came back I just acted like there was nothing wrong. I know I should have gotten out of there, but I just... Couldn't for some reason. 

Then he started declaring his love for me and telling me how great I was for him and suddenly he pins me down and starts grinding his crotch into mine, burying his face in my neck. All I could think of, was my boyfriend and "no come on, not again" (I've been assaulted at least twice before). I struggled with all my might to get away and pleaded for him to stop. It felt like ages until he released me and started apologizing and saying that he didn't want to lose me but that he just wanted me to be happy, "even if it's with him". Not long after that I left feeling really confused. 

Now I feel that it is my fault. I am scared everywhere I go. Even in my room I lock the door. I've blocked him everywhere and after telling him not to contact me ever again. I don't dare to dress in anything but sweatpants and a loose sweater just because I am scared I might provoke someone. I keep looking over my shoulder to check if nobody is following me. 

Am I exaggerating?