So super nervous about finding out my babys gender.

On the 20th I'm scheduled for my first sonogram I will be 19 weeks but I am so very nervous I really really want a Lil baby boy and I'm so scared of what my reaction will be if I'm having a girl how did y'all react if u didn't get the gender u wanted I'll still be happy but I know I'll be disappointed and I'm feeling terrible about that.