I fucking hate my moms boyfriend with a burning passion. Every time he gives me "advice" I feel like I'm on fire because I have to sit there and listen to it because if I tell him to shut up or I don't care he says it anyways. He thinks if I forgive the people that traumatized me my anxiety will GO AWAY 😂 dude I'm not gonna confront those people. He said "ok yore just not mature enough to do it yet but one day you will" and he doesn't fucking get that sometimes you can't forgive people. He has both parents. He lives in a fucking mansion with them. He stayed in one spot his whole life. He talks about his life like his "anxiety" is worse than mine when he gets anxious about driving. Bitch I was born with it and I have it for life ! I'm so much more mentally mature than him. Who the fuck says to forgive the people that traumatized you ? Seriously? I should forgive them for almost killing me? Yeah that's fucking. Right I have an eating disorder that I struggle with every day and it could kill me. It's scary and I'm never going to forgive them. I shouldn't have to. They fucked up my life and regular therapy never helped me. I need that eye movements therapy that stores your memories differently so I don't have to be deathly scared of throwing up. I grew up not getting the attention I'm supposed to get when I'm little because I was busy babysitting my sisters. I had to be there for myself and look where I am now. Why should I have to forgive someone who purposely wanted me to be jealous of my sister because they got all the attention? Or someone who would beat their wife in front of me and throw shit and be screaming. I'm afraid of men. I have a lot of issues that you can't see and it affects me every day. And I'm trying to get better. But I have my moms idiot boyfriend making it so much worse. When I try to explain it he just says "well that's negative thinking" he said he's the reason I'm alive behind my back.. Bu. To be honest freshman year he's the reason I was depressed and cut myself and wanted to die. He said things to me that you could never forgive. Like "you don't have friends because you don't talk why can't you just talk" or "you never hang out with anyone you need to go outside and stop sitting on your ass all day" "well what happened to you wasn't even that bad" he would scream at me and throw things at me.. And he EXPECTS me to forgive him. That's why I never said no when he said do you forgive me because he'll just start yelling at me. He would lecture me for hours (not even exaggerating) about why I don't have friends and how I'm a peice of shit and how I need to get a job to help my mom out (I was 14) and how so many more people are successful than me. And he said to me yesterday that he's helpful and awesome. My mom knows all of this he hurt my sisters and she still keeps him around. I had to scream at him last year cuz he was screaming at my sister and I got the worst panic attack in my life. I'm scared of men. But my sisters is where he crosses the line. It's even worse that my mom keeps him around. She says I don't understand and I'm like I really fucking don't. He talked shit behind my moms back like "she's so fat and needs to work out" and "she needs therapy" and would yell at me if she bought anything unhealthy. I told my mom I don't forgive him and she just said "where's your compassion" I hate him.