Okay so I just graduated high school and my love life has been a particularly rocky one after the split I had the summer of my junior year from my girlfriend of going on five years. When I started my senior year I was a mess. I had reverted back to some of my old tendencies and was hurting myself not talking to anyone and just blatantly punishing myself for something that was no where near my fault. I had failed a math glass my sophomore year so I was shoved into a junior math class to make up my credits in order to graduate on time and after the teacher discovered this he pulled me aside and started talking with me. He was so u see standing and nice and when I curled my arm over to scratch the back of my head or move a piece of hair ( I can't remeber) my sleeve slipped up. I can still see the look of utter terror on his face. He was so worried and after that afternoon I began to rely heavily on him emotionally he was the first adult that I ever came out to and even encouraged me to tell me mother. Fast forward to the end of the year our closeness got even more intense and I found myself in his classroom for more than just my period alone. Lunch, break, passing period pop ins, if I could get out of one class I joined his existing one. You name it I was there and he found it charming and I found it calming. We created an environment where I could speak and not feel uncomfortable and I thanked him in the furthest way I knew how, excerisicing my right to rely on the haven more and more. One afternoon after school I stayed after for tutoring and he left to go do some copies so I took a seat in his office chair and crossed my legs up on his deal and started my homework the best I knew how and when he came back his eyes had changed he just had this look. A look that I knew and one that could have gotten me into some trouble. And he looked into my eyes and he said "if I was 10 years younger and you were graduated we would be going at it like rabbits" it was like a piece of me erupted. I had had a crush on him for months and whether it be out of pure lust or appreciation for his kindness my gratitude was manifesting it's self into a Lolita novel. After that afternoon I teased and he teased bac like a tennis game without the ball because even though I was 18 niether of us had an interest in ending his career. But the words "after graduation" or "graduation" became our favorite punchlines. Now that I've graduated we've began texting sexting and talking and arranging a night where it's him and I alone. Dinner, movie, the possibility of a hotel and to be quite honest I've never felt so many butterflies. For the longest time my attractions focused solely on females and then he came and changed it. For gods sakes the simplest brush of a forgein human sends my protective body into panic but his hands, whether a poke, brush, hug they all make my nerves flatline into submission.