A mother that disregards my wishes
I've always had a complicated relationship with my mother but it's become quite a strain since my dad died a few years ago. I seem to have trouble with her disregarding my wishes and bulldozing me down so she can do whatever she thinks is best. More than anything, I'm worried it's only going to intensify when I have a baby.
For example, yesterday I had her watch my dog for the day and I specifically said to her (yet again) to only give him his food and a few dog treats because he has a sensitive stomach. I picked him up and in the middle of the night he starts throwing up. I ask her today and it's "oh I gave him some tuna, it's not a big deal." Last time it was bacon, the time before it was an m&m and so on. I feel so defeated because she just doesn't listen to me or respect my wishes and I feel like the only thing left is just distancing myself. Though I feel so sad and guilty because I'm an only child and she's alone.
Anyway, the dog thing is just one example but I'm worried about this general theme when it comes to grandchildren. She already has all these expectations that she's gonna babysit three days a week and says things like "whatever happens at grandmas stays at grandmas." I just feel like if I can't trust her to take care of my dog, how will I trust her with a baby? Shouldn't I get to parent my own child and set the "rules"? Does anyone have any advice? Or has anyone had a similar situation?
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