Too much of an age difference? 16-20

Question

I live in New Zealand so just remember the legal age is 16 here. Just want to know what you think.

Is four/five years too much of a difference when I'm 16?

Answer

It's a red flag but it doesn't necessarily mean anything. People get concerned about large age gaps at your age because the power dynamic can be very lopsided in the older persons favour. And there's also the question of 'can't he get a girl his own age?', as in, he must be very immature. But it isn't always this way! If you are quite mature, and you guys respect eachother and communicate well, than I dont think there's anything wrong with it. In a few years no one will think anything of a four year gap so try not to pay too much mind to the judgers right now. Focus on making sure your relationship is happy and healthy, and the rest will fall into place. The only thing I will say is because you're at slightly different stages in your lives, you may feel more pressure (not from him necessarily, more that you may pressure yourself) to have sex, party, 'keep up with him', etc, so just be aware of that and watch for it within yourself.

Answer

nope, i once went with a 21 year old when i was 16, never told my fam cause i knew they wouldn't approve, plus my aunt is younger than my uncle by 5 years nd nobody cares, relationships are for 2 people only, aslong as you's are both happy then ignore everyone else!

Answer

Depends on your maturity

Answer

Personally I feel like it is. I was very mature for my age when I was 16 but I still did a lot of growing up between 16 and 20. I'm really not the same person I was at 16 anymore. I've changed a lot and pretty much everyone I know says they've changed so much in those years. So for me I do think it's too much of an age gap. After a few years like 20 to 24 it wouldn't be as big of a gap anymore. I feel like once you're in your 20s age stops mattering as much. But if you feel like it's ok and you're comfortable then that's your choice. No one should judge you for it because you are at the age of consent. So it's legal and as long as your happy then that's what matters. It's a personal choice.

Answer

I answered no but it's a yes and no answer. It's a red flag but I also don't know you nor him. If it's legal that's great! However, the maturity of the both of you has a lot to do with it. If you know you aren't exactly all that mature then don't go for it. If you know he isn't mature and plays around a lot then don't do it. You're the only women who can really answer this for yourself because you're the only one on here that knows both parties involved.

Answer

I can relate so much it's not even funny. I'm 16, he's 20 turning 21 in August, I turn 17 in August. Looking at it from other peoples point of view, it's weird and I'm still a '12vie' and I'm not mature enough and I need to experience things before getting into a serious relationship. But looking at it from my perspective, it's personally something that I've learned a lot from. Because he's older, and he's done more 'stupid' stuff then I have, I've learned from him and I've grown. We started dating when I just turned 14, and I was terrible at dating. But I wouldn't take anything back, and only you can tell whether or not you're ready for that relationship. Was I ready when I first started dating him? Probably not. But I grew, and I learned a lot.

Answer

I answer no because if your parents know and approve then it should be fine but it truly is either answer. I don't disagree with the age difference me and my SO are 9 years 6 months apart. he's 31 and I'm 21. but also I wasn't allowed to date until I was 17 and i had to have a "chaperone".

Too much of an age difference? 16-20

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